I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
