Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
