I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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