Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
