I think I died a long time ago.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
