tell your sister to shave her snatch
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
