he thought i was a dude.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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