I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
