your thong is hanging out like whoa
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
