I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize