forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
