Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
