What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
