just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I want a musical about memes.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
