a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
