i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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