so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
