I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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