I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
