epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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