I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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