You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize