And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
