It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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