There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
