Who wears a wallet chain?!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
