Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
