you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
