All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize