She said her name was "party"
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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