ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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