just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
