I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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