Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
