Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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