No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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