i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
