Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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