Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
