I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Alive.
So much puke
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
