no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
