just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My vagina just recognized that song.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
