I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
