An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
