I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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