YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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