I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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