I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
