So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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