He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
