how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
