A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
