Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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