ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
