Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
