I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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