Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She's JV to your varsity
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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