The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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