Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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